A policy rant from an interactive designer? Yes. Our job as designers should be to make this world better, so here I go.
I’m writing this while sitting in a hospital waiting room while my father has a tumor removed. Obama is on the tv discussing the death of Ted Kennedy. So, this topic is heavy on the mind.
I have a simple, yet drastic, plan to solve the health insurance issue. Note, I did not say health care issue. That is a political term meant to fool you into thinking this is about your care. It is not. It’s about how you pay for that care. Stay focused people.
Eliminate The Middle Man Eliminate all health insurance as we know it whether it be employer based or self insured. It’s an uber waste. Replace the current system with mandatory catastrophic insurance. Put the limit at 8k. Why 8k? This is the amount of money the average family will save per year by eliminating their insurance payment. If you have an unlikely procedure that requires more than 8k it will be covered. The rest of your routine care will be paid for out of pocket. This out of pocket cost is a fraction of what you currently pay per month. Replacing the current system, and preventing Obama’s proposed system, will save billions of dollars. Take this savings and transfer it directly to wellness programs. Stop treating the symptoms of this issue and find a cure. Sound simple? That’s because it is. You’re so used to this being complex. There’s a very good financial reason for that.
What would this do?
It would empower you to be the decision maker about how you pay for your health care. You’d pay for your care the same way you’d pay for anything else, with sound mind and complete freedom of choice. A choice with your best interest in mind. This would create a true free market where Hospitals and Doctors are competing for your business. Cost for care would plummet due to this increased competition. It would also create a direct relationship between you and your care provider without the bureaucracy that currently stands between you.
This plan would also keep government from further expanding it’s power and reach into your personal life. It would remove the proposed billion dollar band-aid they plan to throw at the problem. This plan would transform American attitude towards wellness, creating a more mindful responsible America. Even though this plan will save you thousands of dollars per year, attitudes change once you’re pulling out your wallet every time you go for care.
This plan would save the taxpayer billions of dollars. These dollars should be transferred into wellness programs that will further reduce the need for out of pocket and catastrophic use.
This plan would decimate the wild cost of drugs. Again, the free market would reign in drug companies who charge a premium because they know it is insurance subsidized. People would shop and buy generic.
Finally, this plan would eliminate the financial burden on your employer to cover some or all of your insurance. Why would you want to eliminate your boss paying for your care? Simple. It’s a nice thought that your employer is paying for you altruistically, but that’s simply not the case. The money your employer is using to pay for your care comes from somewhere. Eliminate their burden and you’d receive more than the standard cost of living raise. In other words, that money comes out of your paycheck one way or the other. Under this plan, you’d get it back.
Sounds good, but what about those that can’t afford the 8k?
Though more people will be able to afford the small monthly payment for catastrophic care, some people will still struggle to make the payment. The government should subsidize these families to cover them for catastrophic care thus freeing up their wallets for normal maintenance.
Conclusion
There is a reason insurance companies don’t offer true catastrophic care. It’s not profitable. Catastrophic insurance would cost a fraction of your old premium. The average American never comes close to using the money they pay in to insurance. If they did, insurance companies would cease to exist due to bankruptcy. Insurance is a profit business.
We trust ourselves to purchase everything else in this world. Why not trust ourselves with the thing that matters most? Why trust an insurance company to buy your care for you?
Finally, why trust the government? They’re a profit business as well. They speak of change in terms of metaphors, not actual pragmatic results based change.
The guiding principle of any reform should be to put the consumer, not the insurer or the government, at the center of the system. I urge you to push for a sensible approach to reform.
Tonight we found a dog roaming Mt. Tabor. That’s him to the right. He was distressed and obviously lost. Like my two dogs, he had a Multnomah County ID Tag with the appropriate phone number to call. So, I called the number hoping to get some help in locating the dogs owner or someone to come out to shelter him. Instead, I got a young kid who was only willing to do one thing: tell me the owners phone number. I was sitting on the side of Mt. Tabor with my two pooches off leash and a large stray Husky yelping and bucking like a bronco. I didn’t exactly have a free hand to write down the number. I asked why Multnomah County wouldn’t call the owner themselves for me or send a truck out to take the pooch to a shelter. After all, that must be what they do there, right? Help lost dogs find their owner, or a home? The answer I got was “we’d rather you called the owner”. When I asked “what is it you actually do there?” the response was “um, I’m not sure we can do anything to help, there is no funding”. What?! No funding? What about the licensing fee I paid for both of my dogs and their tags? Where does that money go? What about all the off leash fines? Tax money? He didn’t even have a list of shelters for me to call, never mind calling one himself.
I put the dog on a leash and called the owner using the number they gave me. Disconnected. Surprise. Ok, we were going to take him home but first decided to walk him around Tabor a bit. That’s when we thankfully found you. You’d been drinking and lost your dog. We’re glad we found you, but this does not excuse the city’s neglect. At least I don’t pay for your neglect.
Your website says “Licensing helps pay for the care of homeless animals while attempts are made to find them new homes”. Perhaps someone should tell the kid on the phone.
Please spread the word about this to Mayor Sam Adams @MayorSamAdams and Multnomah County @MultCo. I’d like to hope that if my dogs were lost that more something would be done.
Last night I presented “Using Interfaces Without Interfaces” at Show and Tell Pdx. I showed off some Flash motion detection, Flash color detection and even demo’d a little voice speech recognition in Flash. Some of you asked for more info on how last one was accomplished. I’ll be posting more on this later.
Thank you to Substance for hosting, and thanks for all that attended and enjoyed the show. I had a lot of you come up to me and say that my work has insipred you to experiment more. Just wanted to say, that kicks ass.
Today is my last day at North. I’ve decided to leave my current position as Interactive Director to start my own business. The new business, an Interactive think tank with a focus on the experimental, is being developed and formed by myself and two other partners. In one short month we’ve gone from barely knowing each other to formally signing papers, creating our brand identity, designing our website, organizing business processes, locating and acquiring office space as well as the acquisition of new business. In short, it appears that we know how to get shit done. Instead of a long winded paragraph about our plans I’ve decided to break it down into some handy faqs. I’ll certainly be posting more as more developments occur, and as I can get some free time away from the madness that is the initial steps of creating a business. I’d like to thank the talented folks at North for the opportunities they afforded me, and moving me to the amazing city that Portland is. I wish them the best of luck and hope to work together in the future on a project basis.
Why would you start a new business with people I barley know, are you insane?
I’ve started a business before with close friends. I feel that a business can succeed or fail in either scenario. Each has it’s advantages and it’s disadvantages. Previous personal baggage vs. not knowing how to properly convey opinion to complete strangers. Therefore, the decision to dive into a business with strangers seems as logical to me as the alternative. That said, I indeed just may be insane. However, I seem to have found partners who fit the same diagnosis.
Where is your new space?
We are going to be located on the first floor of this building in the Pearl. Coming from Boston, where I lived and worked downtown, I’m excited to get back to a bit of my roots and the industrial feel of the location.
What is the name of your new venture?
We shall be called “The Good”.
What do you mean by experimental?
Interactive concepts that may not currently be widespread that we see as ubiquitous in the future. Some of my experiments here lean in that direction. We will also be focused on more ‘traditional’ interactive production such as mini sites, content management systems, development, design, online branding, social media and applications. Finally, time given, we’ll be creating our own software and applications which we hope to release to the public.
What new business have you closed?
These shall be revealed using traditional communications means. Meaning, we’ll be showing off the work on our site and across the many social media outlets we pepper.
What’s your url, let’s see the new site!
We have not completely settled on a domain and are in negotiations for one possibility that has been previously taken by a third party. The website has been partially designed but not developed. The Good is coming soon.
Who are these other two partners? Jon MacDonald and partnerX*. Like myself, both have extensive experience and knowledge in the interactive domain. Both are also seemingly clean upstanding earthlings.
Why are you calling yourself a think tank?
We’ve gone with think tank in a response to industry changes. We feel it’s not ‘alright’ to call ourselves just a development shop, or just an agency, anymore. The industry has grown up a bit and people should take notice. People are taking notice. Interactive projects require more than just production. They require strategy, brand insight, technology chops blended with creative thinking. To use a political reference, they require someone to guide policy. We feel we are best suited to be the drivers of interactive policy.
More FAQ’s will be added here as I see fit. Thanks for reading!
*parnterX identity protected until he is free from his current position.
Consider this beta, and not heavily tested. Just wanted to get it out there while I’m still working on it.
For a recent project a client wanted more control over the display of their Wordpress navigation. They wanted to be able to use any font. They also wanted a dynamic fold-able navigation that enables access to all categories without re-loading the page. This was a perfect project for me since I use Wordpress all over the mofo place. For example, you can see the navigation in use over there to the right. Also, as I’ve stated previously, I’m a big fan of leveraging the many publishing outlets I already use. So, I buit the nav in Flash connecting to Wordpress via XMLRPC using some classes from http://mattism.com/. This essentially allows me to use Wordpress as a content management system for Flash. You could obviously see how this could be applied to entire sites, like I have with my homepage. I’ve thought about building this a Wordpress plugin, and maybe down the road I will, but I doubt it as I’ll probably jump ship and start another project per usual. Besides, everyone knows you can’t make money writing Wordpress plugins.
How It Works:
Flash calls _rpc.call(”wp.getCategories”) to xmlrpc.php which returns an array of categories. I use this array to create a bunch of MovieClip()s. These clips add TextFields as children, are sorted and have events applied to them that enable the interactions. Two fonts reside in the library. One for the top node and one for the child and grandchildren nodes.
Features [the current goods]:
Dynamic – Works dynamically with Wordpress categories. You update your categories in Wordpress, they show properly in Flash
Sorting – Dynamically sorts top nodes. Controlled by Wordpress plugin my category order. For this to work I had to make a small addition to the Wordpress xmlrpc.php, located in your Wordpress root folder, to return the category term order. Added line 2776 – $struct['order'] = $cat->term_order;
Page recognition – Recognizes the page you’re on and dynamically opens navigation to the parent node of said page onload. I could have used XMLRPC tomake this call, I’m sure. However, I opted to pass in the page url via Flashvars and run a check to find a match. When a match is found the nav opens to it’s parent node.
Folding – Uses Grant Skinner GTween for interactions.
Multiple – Allows posts to live under multiple category nodes.
Wish List [the future goods]:
Multiline – Currently only supports single line category titles, so you’re limited in char length
Scrolling – Currently the length of your category list is limited to the length of the swf. I plan to add functions to enable scrolling of the list based on mouseY. This will free up the nav to be as long as you desire.
Post count – Do people really use this though? Probably not as its annoying.
Levels – Currently the nav only supports 3 levels. It would be nice to be infinite.
Build in the rest of Wordpress feature support for tag cloud, recent comments etc.
Total devel time: 2 days, or about 12 hours.
I’d love to see where other people take the code and what people build with it.
Source Code:
wpNavMain.as
/**
* wpNavMain by Chris Teso. Mar 19, 2009
* Visit www.christeso.com/blog for documentation, updates and more free code.
*
*
* Copyright (c) 2009 Chris Teso
*
* Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person
* obtaining a copy of this software and associated documentation
* files (the "Software"), to deal in the Software without
* restriction, including without limitation the rights to use,
* copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, and/or sell
* copies of the Software, and to permit persons to whom the
* Software is furnished to do so, subject to the following
* conditions:
*
* The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be
* included in all copies or substantial portions of the Software.
*
* THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND,
* EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES
* OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND
* NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT
* HOLDERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR OTHER LIABILITY,
* WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING
* FROM, OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR
* OTHER DEALINGS IN THE SOFTWARE.
**/
package
{
import flash.display.*;
public class wpNavMain extends Sprite
{
/*
========================================================
| Constructor
========================================================
*/
public function wpNavMain ()
{
stage.align = StageAlign.TOP_LEFT;
// add nav
var wp:Wp = new Wp()
addChild( wp )
}
}
}
Wp.as
/**
* Wp by Chris Teso. Mar 19, 2009
* Visit www.christeso.com/blog for documentation, updates and more free code.
*
*
* Copyright (c) 2009 Chris Teso
*
* Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person
* obtaining a copy of this software and associated documentation
* files (the "Software"), to deal in the Software without
* restriction, including without limitation the rights to use,
* copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, and/or sell
* copies of the Software, and to permit persons to whom the
* Software is furnished to do so, subject to the following
* conditions:
*
* The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be
* included in all copies or substantial portions of the Software.
*
* THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND,
* EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES
* OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND
* NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT
* HOLDERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR OTHER LIABILITY,
* WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING
* FROM, OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR
* OTHER DEALINGS IN THE SOFTWARE.
**/
package
{
import com.gskinner.motion.*
import com.mattism.http.xmlrpc.*;
import com.mattism.http.xmlrpc.util.*;
import flash.filters.*;
import flash.media.*;
import flash.ui.*;
import flash.display.*;
import flash.events.*;
import flash.net.*;
import flash.utils.*;
import flash.geom.*;
import flash.text.*;
import fl.transitions.*;
import fl.transitions.easing.*;
import flash.system.SecurityPanel;
import flash.system.Security;
public class Wp extends Sprite
{
/*
========================================================
| Private Variables | Data Type
========================================================
*/
private var _navArray:Array = new Array();
private var _rpc:Connection;
private var _topFont:Font = new topFont();
private var _roadSign:Font = new roadSign();
private var _topFmt:TextFormat = new TextFormat()
private var _currUrl:String = ""
private var _hideTimer:Timer
private var _textYPad:int = 16
private var _navSpeed:Number = .2
/*
========================================================
| Constructor
========================================================
*/
public function Wp ()
{
loadRpc()
}
private function checkPage()
{
// load in title
var paramList:Object = this.root.loaderInfo.parameters;
// set var to hold text
var _currUrl:String = paramList["url"]
//_currUrl = "http://www.christeso.com/index.php/category/portfolio/truth/truth-found/"
// scan through array and open nav to that one
for( var i=0;i<_navArray.length;i++ )
{
//trace( "_currUrl = "+_currUrl+" - "+_navArray[i].link )
if( _navArray[i].link == _currUrl )
{
//trace( "found match!" )
// open it
if( _navArray[i].childMc != null )
{
showGrandChildren( MovieClip( _navArray[i].childMc ) )
}
if( _navArray[i].grandChildMc != null )
{
showGrandChildren( MovieClip( _navArray[i].grandChildMc.parent ) )
}
}
}
}
private function showGrandChildren( mc:MovieClip )
{
//trace( "opening grandchildren" )
// amount to go down
var yLeap:Number;
// total that will be open as long as the node is not already open
var _totOpen:int = mc.numChildren-1
//trace( "_totOpen = "+_totOpen )
// ok we can prob do this in one big loop
for( var i=0;i<_navArray.length;i++ )
{
// push down top nodes as long as they are below the top node you're on
if( _navArray[i].mc != null )
{
if( _navArray[i].mc.origY > MovieClip(mc.parent).origY )
{
yLeap = _navArray[i].mc.origY + ( _totOpen*_textYPad )
new GTween( _navArray[i].mc, _navSpeed, {y:yLeap} )
}
else
{
yLeap = _navArray[i].mc.origY
new GTween( _navArray[i].mc, _navSpeed, {y:yLeap} )
}
}
// push down child nodes as long as they are below the node you're on and are a child of the node you're on
if( _navArray[i].childMc != null )
{
if( _navArray[i].childMc.parent == mc.parent )
{
if( _navArray[i].childMc.origY > mc.origY )
{
yLeap = _navArray[i].childMc.origY + ( _totOpen*_textYPad )
new GTween( _navArray[i].childMc, _navSpeed, {y:yLeap} )
}
else
{
yLeap = _navArray[i].childMc.origY
new GTween( _navArray[i].childMc, _navSpeed, {y:yLeap} )
}
}
}
// make grandchildren visible
if( _navArray[i].grandChildMc != null )
{
if( _navArray[i].grandChildMc.parent == mc )
{
_navArray[i].grandChildMc.visible = true
new GTween( _navArray[i].grandChildMc, _navSpeed, {alpha:1} )
}
else
{
new GTween( _navArray[i].grandChildMc, _navSpeed/2, {alpha:0, autoHide:true} )
}
}
}
}
private function hideGrandChildren( e:Event )
{
// amount to go down
var yLeap:Number;
// ok we can prob do this in one big loop
for( var i=0;i<_navArray.length;i++ )
{
// push up top nodes
if( _navArray[i].mc != null )
{
yLeap = _navArray[i].mc.origY
new GTween( _navArray[i].mc, _navSpeed, {y:yLeap} )
}
// push up child nodes
if( _navArray[i].childMc != null )
{
yLeap = _navArray[i].childMc.origY
new GTween( _navArray[i].childMc, _navSpeed, {y:yLeap} )
}
// make grandchildren visible
if( _navArray[i].grandChildMc != null )
{
new GTween( _navArray[i].grandChildMc, _navSpeed/2, {alpha:0, autoHide:true} )
}
}
}
private function childClick( e:Event )
{
var i:int = e.currentTarget.indexNum
var srcRequest:URLRequest = new URLRequest( _navArray[i].link );
navigateToURL( srcRequest, "" );
}
private function childOver( e:Event )
{
trace( "mouse over "+MovieClip( e.currentTarget ).name )
// remove parent events
MovieClip( e.currentTarget ).parent.removeEventListener( MouseEvent.CLICK, childClick )
// stop close timer
_hideTimer.stop()
// show grandkids
showGrandChildren( MovieClip( e.currentTarget ) )
}
private function childOut( e:Event )
{
trace( "mouse out "+MovieClip( e.currentTarget ).name )
// add parent events
MovieClip( e.currentTarget ).parent.addEventListener( MouseEvent.CLICK, childClick )
// start timer for close
_hideTimer.start();
}
private function grandChildOver( e:Event )
{
trace( "mouse over "+MovieClip( e.currentTarget ).name )
// remove parent events
MovieClip( e.currentTarget ).parent.removeEventListener( MouseEvent.CLICK, childClick )
// handle its events
MovieClip( e.currentTarget ).addEventListener( MouseEvent.CLICK, childClick )
}
private function grandChildOut( e:Event )
{
trace( "mouse out "+MovieClip( e.currentTarget ).name )
// remove parent events
MovieClip( e.currentTarget ).parent.addEventListener( MouseEvent.CLICK, childClick )
// handle its events
MovieClip( e.currentTarget ).removeEventListener( MouseEvent.CLICK, childClick )
}
private function orderTop()
{
var yPos:int = 0;
var topCount:int = 0
// first we need to find all unique parents
for( var i=0;i<_navArray.length;i++ )
{
//
if( _navArray[i].mc != null )
{
// place the top
_navArray[i].mc.y = yPos
_navArray[i].mc.origY = yPos
// calculate the next Y pos
yPos = _navArray[i].mc.y + ( _navArray[i].mc.numChildren*_textYPad )+_textYPad
}
}
}
private function makeTopNode( i:int )
{
trace( "making top node "+_navArray[i].title+" id = "+_navArray[i].id+" parent id = "+_navArray[i].parentId )
// create an mc holder
var mc:MovieClip = new MovieClip()
mc.name = _navArray[i].title
// create a text field
var t:TextField = new TextField()
t.mouseEnabled = false
t.name = "text"
t.autoSize = TextFieldAutoSize.LEFT
t.selectable = false
t.embedFonts = true
t.antiAliasType = flash.text.AntiAliasType.ADVANCED
t.htmlText = _navArray[i].title.toUpperCase()
_topFmt.size = 13;
_topFmt.font = _roadSign.fontName;
_topFmt.color = 0x666666
//_topFmt.letterSpacing = .5
_topFmt.kerning = true;
t.setTextFormat( _topFmt )
mc.addChild( t )
addChild( mc )
_navArray[i].mc = mc
// events
mc.indexNum = i
mc.origY = mc.y
mc.buttonMode = true
mc.addEventListener( MouseEvent.CLICK, childClick )
// now loop through this level and populate kids
findChildren( _navArray[i].id, mc )
}
private function makeChild( i:int, par:MovieClip )
{
trace( " making child "+_navArray[i].title+" id = "+_navArray[i].id+" parent id = "+_navArray[i].parentId )
// create an mc holder
var mc:MovieClip = new MovieClip()
mc.name = _navArray[i].title
// create a text field
var t:TextField = new TextField()
t.mouseEnabled = false
t.name = "text"
t.autoSize = TextFieldAutoSize.LEFT
t.selectable = false
t.embedFonts = true
t.antiAliasType = flash.text.AntiAliasType.ADVANCED
t.htmlText = _navArray[i].title.toUpperCase()
_topFmt.size = 10;
_topFmt.font = _topFont.fontName;
_topFmt.color = 0xffffff
_topFmt.letterSpacing = .5
_topFmt.kerning = true;
t.setTextFormat( _topFmt )
_navArray[i].childMc = mc
mc.y = par.numChildren*_textYPad
mc.addChild( t )
par.addChild( mc )
// now loop through this level and populate kids
findGrandChildren( _navArray[i].id, mc )
// events
mc.indexNum = i
mc.origY = mc.y
mc.buttonMode = true
mc.addEventListener( MouseEvent.CLICK, childClick )
mc.addEventListener( MouseEvent.MOUSE_OVER, childOver )
mc.addEventListener( MouseEvent.MOUSE_OUT, childOut )
}
private function makeGrandChild( i:int, par:MovieClip )
{
trace( " making grandchild "+_navArray[i].title+" id = "+_navArray[i].id+" parent id = "+_navArray[i].parentId )
// create an mc holder
var mc:MovieClip = new MovieClip()
mc.name = _navArray[i].title
// create a text field
var t:TextField = new TextField()
t.mouseEnabled = false
t.name = "text"
t.autoSize = TextFieldAutoSize.LEFT
t.selectable = false
t.embedFonts = true
t.antiAliasType = flash.text.AntiAliasType.ADVANCED
t.htmlText = _navArray[i].title.toUpperCase()
_topFmt.size = 10;
_topFmt.font = _topFont.fontName;
_topFmt.color = 0x999999
_topFmt.letterSpacing = 0
_topFmt.kerning = true;
t.setTextFormat( _topFmt )
_navArray[i].grandChildMc = mc
mc.alpha = 0
mc.visible = false;
mc.x = 5
mc.y = par.numChildren*_textYPad
mc.addChild( t )
par.addChild( mc )
// events
mc.indexNum = i
mc.buttonMode = true
//mc.mouseChildren = false
//mc.addEventListener( MouseEvent.CLICK, childClick )
mc.addEventListener( MouseEvent.MOUSE_OVER, grandChildOver )
mc.addEventListener( MouseEvent.MOUSE_OUT, grandChildOut )
}
private function findGrandChildren( id:int, par:MovieClip )
{
for( var i=0;i<_navArray.length;i++ )
{
// hunt for children of the parent
if( _navArray[i].parentId == id )
{
//trace( "-- found child "+_navArray[i].title+" | id = "+_navArray[i].id+" | parent = "+_navArray[i].parentId )
// found one, now make a grandchild
makeGrandChild( i, par )
}
}
}
private function findChildren( id:int, par:MovieClip )
{
for( var i=0;i<_navArray.length;i++ )
{
// hunt for children of the parent
if( _navArray[i].parentId == id )
{
//trace( "-- found child "+_navArray[i].title+" | id = "+_navArray[i].id+" | parent = "+_navArray[i].parentId )
// found one, now make a child
makeChild( i, par )
}
}
}
private function findParents()
{
// first we need to find all unique parents
for( var i=0;i<_navArray.length;i++ )
{
// analyze the node... is it a top node?
if( _navArray[i].parentId == 0 && _navArray[i].title != "Uncategorized" )
{
//trace( "-- found parent "+_navArray[i].title )
// create a top node container
makeTopNode( i )
}
}
}
private function loadRpc()
{
_rpc = new ConnectionImpl('blogaddress/xmlrpc.php');
_rpc.addEventListener(Event.COMPLETE, rpcCompleteHandler);
_rpc.addEventListener(ErrorEvent.ERROR, rpcErrorHandler);
_rpc.addParam(0, XMLRPCDataTypes.INT); // Blog Id
_rpc.addParam("blogusername", XMLRPCDataTypes.STRING); // Username
_rpc.addParam("blogpassword", XMLRPCDataTypes.STRING); // Password
getCategories()
}
private function getCategories():void
{
_rpc.call("wp.getCategories")
}
private function rpcCompleteHandler(evt:Event):void
{
var response:Object = _rpc.getResponse();
for(var i:String in response)
{
// need to first grab all the top nav categories
trace( response[i].categoryName )
trace( response[i].htmlUrl )
trace( response[i].parentId )
trace( response[i].categoryId )
trace( response[i].order )
trace( "------------------" )
_navArray.push( { title:response[i].categoryName, link:response[i].htmlUrl, id:response[i].categoryId, parentId:response[i].parentId, order:response[i].order } )
}
// Sort the array according to your category order setting in WP
_navArray.sortOn( "order", Array.NUMERIC )
// setup close timer
_hideTimer = new Timer( 500, 1 );
_hideTimer.addEventListener( TimerEvent.TIMER, hideGrandChildren );
findParents()
orderTop()
checkPage()
}
private function rpcErrorHandler(evt:ErrorEvent):void
{
var fault:MethodFault = _rpc.getFault();
}
}
}
I’m a novice. I joined Flickr 3 years ago not to learn how to take photographs, I would have learned that regardless of participation, but to display the fruits of my learning. I went through many stages of post processing tricks, camera hacks, and pure photographic techniques. As this Times article poignantly states, I became a typical Flickr user delving in typical Flickr styles. I learned how to use the Flickr interestingness algorithm to acquire more views, make explore, and spread the display of my learned lessons. As with most online forums, I learned how to use their features to my advantage. After all, I know how to build these systems, I certainly know how to exploit them. To my moral credit I did not exploit it as much as I could. There are some on Flickr who have gone the distance. After 3 years of doing this I still find myself advancing very slowly through the level of novicity [merriam webster inclusion recommendation] on the verge of potential decency. However, I am still a novice.
Yet, as a novice, I’m able to sell my services and prints to the entire world, and have. I’ve sold prints to publishers, been commissioned for projects, been invited by Getty Images to sell stock, and made various other business connections via Flickr.
And now for the ironic portion of this blog… As I try and transition past novicity and become more of a professional, however subjective that term is, I find I now hate myself and Flickr. I don’t really hate either of those two things but hyperbole makes for a more interesting read, agree? yes, you do. I’ve recently been contacted, via flickr, about the purchase of a few more of my images. One from a Holland magazine, the other a French magazine. Upon further investigation and email correspondence I’ve found that lo and behold, they have little to no budget, but would ‘love to purchase my art’ for their campaign. Since I work in advertising, this is not a new concept to me. We do the same thing at our shop. When budgets are low we scrap, and find quality on the cheap. This is what Flickr has to offer. I disagree with the Times article in some ways. I believe there is quality, in advertising terms, on Flickr. It’s one reason Getty has partnered with them. However, since this quality exists in abundance it has simultaneously made millions of professional photographers that earn next to nothing for their work. Again, this is not a new internet concept. You can see the same trend happening across various other creative mediums. Anyone can be a designer these days. Traditional professional designers will argue that these people are not true designers, and as in the movie Helvetica, you’ll hear Mr. Carson say that ‘just because they have the tools doesn’t mean they are designers’ or something like that. What he doesn’t mention is that in the industry he works in, that doesn’t matter. All that matters is what will sell and what the industry will buy. And more and more, the playing field is leveling and ‘novice’ talent is producing actual work for unreasonably cheap flow.
The same can be said for my native medium, interactive design and development. Tools are making it easier for the masses to join and compete. It’s the reason I was livid at Macromedia when it came out with its Dreamweaver product allowing non coders to build websites. It’s one more step towards not needing to know a craft to actually produce the results of said craft. Go on Craigslist and post a web development or design project. The majority of the responses will be appallingly inexpensive and equally shameful in portfolio quality. However, there will be a couple that come close enough to make the grade. The result is a lowering of the industry wage and the promotion of marginal quality. I’m forced to lower my rates to compete. Again, I wasn’t complaining about this when I was a novice web designer in 1999, but it kicks me in the boo boo now.
The book The World is Flat explains these processes in detail. I tend to agree with the synopsis of the book that the overall result of this process is actually for the global good. India is able to compete which drives US innovation, and so on. Globally this is great. I know that I need to think globally, but personally, at this moment, it is bad.
I could go on and write about this topic for hours, but It’d just be more novice writing garnering page views. Oh wait, I forgot to mention, anyone can be a published writer. Anyone want to hire me to write for their blog?
Over the last couple of years my addiction to taking pictures every day has grown in intensity. More recently this addiction has heightened my curiosity to a point of seriousity. You do realize that seriousity should have inclusion confirmation from Merriam-Webster. If truthiness can make in, seriousity should. Seriously. Ok, back to the point. I’m getting more serious about photography. I even purchased a serious camera. Along with this serious camera, and an overabundance of seriousity about it’s use, I’ve gone and constructed myself a website dedicated to my photography. It is my hope that this will inspire and urge potential clients to contact me about my services.
The concept of the site is to take as much distraction out of the interface as possible to allow all focus on the content, the photography. I decided the entire site could be controlled by a small non intrusive control. I also wanted users to be able to interact with the photography by zoom and panning. Users also have the option to zoom out to see the full photo. Finally, I wanted a super easy way to content manage the site. Since I’m an avid Flickr user, its API was a natural CMS choice. I merely have to tag my photos in Flickr and they show up categorized on my site. I’m a big fan of leveraging the many publishing outlets I already use.
If you are a photographer, and are interested in owning a site similar to this one, chirp me.
Many times I’ve set up interfaces where I need to place different objects equidistant around a central object. The solution to this problem is to first calculate the angle of each object by converting Radians to Degrees. This can be expressed by the following formula
So, you simply need to loop through your collection of objects and assign each a different angle. After that you plug that angle into a new Polar Point.
for(var i=0;i<array.length;i++)
{
var angle:Number = i*( 180/Math.PI )
var coord:Point = Point.polar( circumference, angle )
}
Well, it’s official. We just canceled Comcast ‘the commie’ Cable and purchased an Apple Tv. My plan is to install Boxee or XMBC as an alt media platform to the default Front Row. This will enable us to stream our cable favorites such as the Daily Show and Colbert free from Hulu rather than paying for it via iTunes. If anyone has information on their preference I’d love to hear some reviews. So far, and it’s only been one day, the choice has proven to be a good one. Streaming our entire music, movie and photo collection through our hdtv is shweet. Also integration with Flickr, youTube and iTunes is seamless.
The money savings should be fairly significant. The 160gb Apple Tv ran us $320. Our Comcast Cable bill is about $80/month. Ipso, it should pay for itself and then some.
So, I call on you all to do the same. À la carte media is what you want, so call Commie and tell them that’s what you’re going to do.
A year or two ago when I started experimenting with creating applications that provide interactivity outside of a browser, in the environment, I thought it would take years before environmental experiences went to market. I thought there would be no demand by agencies for several years, no clients forward thinking enough to request interactive installations and certainly no companies focusing in on delivering these experiences. I was mistaken.
I’ve been surprised by the amount of buzz generated around interactive installations in the advertising industry. I’ve had thousands of visits to my blog from agencies, developers and the like with keywords such as Flash and Installations, Flash and Motion Detection and Interactive Installation. I guess I shouldn’t be shocked that an industry that is always hot for the latest ‘thing’ would push the medium forward. I’ve been pleasantly surprised to see several companies honing in on the niche that has presented itself in Interactive Installation. The fact these companies are specializing in it is a testament to the rising demand. There have also been several agencies that are developing their own internal lab to function as R&D into these areas. I commend these agencies for their forward thinking. Unfortunately, most of these agencies still haven’t figured out how to do traditional interactive profitably and or properly. That’s right, I said it. “Traditional Interactive”. Perhaps in these agencies this new medium will be able to skip over the old agency model of traditional “creatives” holding on to the last bastion of control over an interactive project, but I doubt it. Just as in traditional interactive I see Barbarianesque shops excelling in the Installation arena. We all see clients sidestepping traditional agencies in favor of new media agencies in both project work and AOR. I see no reason that trend would not continue in Reactive Media. After all the best interactive work results when the people designing the piece are also building the piece, concepting the piece, doing analytics on the piece and owning the piece.
All that said, I’ve just finished and launched the Interactive Installation located at 6th and Alder in Portland, Or. This is the second public installation I’ve done. I was shocked to see the amount of attention it has received, and is again a testament to how powerful this medium can be. Yes it helped that the client was/is downtown Portland. It got me on the news several times. But still… the excitement is there over the technology and the potential uses of moving experiences into the environment we all live in. I look forward to doing more.
If you’ll notice I’ve called this ‘thing’ several ‘things’ already. I’ve heard many terms bandied about. Some of these terms include Interactive Installation, Environmental Interactive, Reactive Installation, Interactive Projection, Enviro Interactive and Experiential Installation. To me none of these fully encompass what the medium and industry will be creating in the coming years. While most of my experiments have involved motion detection, there are many other avenues in this ‘thing’ to pursue. Auditory data aggregation, touch screen, sensors, robotics, industrial design melding with technology and interactive design just to name a few. I like the term Enviro Interactive. I think it gets close to encompassing the vast array of potential applications without confusing people with the word spelled out in full, ‘environmental’. On more than one occasion I’ve explained what I’m doing as Environmental Interactive only to get some vague response how nice it is that I’m being green.
So, what would you call it? Are you currently working in the medium? If so, in what capacity?
ps. In the news clip above notice that they captioned me as the ‘cyber snow artist’. From this point forward please address me as such. Anything less would be an insult of epic proportions.
Chances are you publish content using multiple platforms dissipated across the interweb. For example, you may publish photo’s to Flickr, video’s to Vimeo and blogs to Wordpress. While each of these sites provide you with an RSS feed, a viewer would have to subscribe to each to be updated with all that you publish. Luckily Yahoo Pipes has provided an easy solution. Pipes is essentially a tool that enables non coders to visually architect an application. While it provides a toolset to perform many valuable and robust time saving application functions, for this example we’ll only concentrate on it’s XML and RSS data aggregation. The following screenshot demonstrates how easy it is to aggregate all of your separate RSS feeds into one feed that viewers can subscribe to.
The example above shows the aggregation of all my publishing points including Flickr, Vimeo, Wordpress, Google Reader and a custom feed I made that enables me to use Wordpress as a CMS. After creating the aggregated feed in Pipes I then use Feedburner to track usage stats. The result is http://feeds.feedburner.com/chrisTeso. Please update your feed and subscribe to http://feeds.feedburner.com/chrisTeso if you’re currently subscribed to an older one.
photo by .:9:.
With just a couple days until the launch of the interactive installation in Downtown Portland I’ve been going mad tweaking code and functionality to run motion detection in rain, darkness and direct sunlight, with multiple object motion distractions such as pedestrians, bikers, segways and automobile headlights stopped at the traffic light precariously located directly in front of the installation camera. Simultaneously we’ve been crazy busy setting up the environment. Designing and developing the application for motion detection has kept me busy enough and has been an awesome learning experience using Flash as an interactive installation platform.
What I’ve underestimated are the challenges and learning curve associated with the industrial design end of the project. The challenges the environment has placed on us have been many. I’ve mentioned the lighting situation and the application challenges of varying weather, lighting and motion objects. There have also been other challenges such as getting the lens and projector right to cover the entire store front window from an elevation, keystoning [ keystonery? keystoningness? ] focal and clarity perspective. Properly aligning the webcam for best motion detection and display results within the application. [ viewers will be video overlayed in the application ].
Sewing together multiple tarps and hanging them one story above the installation to block out extraneous light that would dull the projection. Major issues with using an AT&T 3G card for connectivity in the absence of any wifi. [ the application takes a snapshot and posts the image to a private flickr account every 10 minutes so I can ensure the app. is up and running ]. Dealing with not being able to use an internal monitor while running the app with the projector. Adhering the specialized light sensitive acrylic pieces properly into each of the six window frames. The list goes on and is still mounting.
All this said, testing is moving along nicely. As you can see from the images below there have been people using the app. in its beta stage already. The feedback has been amazing. Standing on the street corner and watching people interact with the snowflakes and move around the area waving their hands and legs has been great. It’s been especially cool pretending to be an innocent onlooker to overhear the conversations and guessing of how the entire thing may be working. I saw more than a few people physically touching the glass guessing that they could effect the display ala touch screen. Several people danced in front of it. A few people looked semi frightened by the whole scenario. The best quote of the night came from a man who was simply amazed by the display. After carrying on about how cool it was he wrapped up the rant by exclaiming “this is downright amazing… but pfft… they’ve probably had this in Tokyo for the last 10 years”.
1. in the near future, aka now, it will be increasingly important to be able to publish while driving, moving and generally doing anything.
2. reading Gladwells latest, outliers. good book thus far.
3. 40 percent of Canadian pro hockey players are born in jan-march. its not how talented you are, its what month your born in. arbitrary cut off enrollment dates to blame. amazing. thanks gladwell.
4. new Google voice app. is the most amazing app to date. just say what data you want and google delivers. enhanced cyborg intelligence. instant calling of knowledge. soon you’ll just think about it. see? youll just think. we are evolving.
5. just crossed over Or Cali border.
After much back and forth to the drawing board I’ve come up with an idea for my new site that satisfies several needs. Furthermore, I’ve gone ahead and built it. The two main needs for the site are as follows:
1. Maintain the ability to update the site easily by leveraging the many publishing outlets I already use.
2. Aggregate all of the content I create across multiple platforms into one simple easy to use interface.
The solution for number one was to use Yahoo Pipes to aggregate RSS feeds from the various publishing platforms I already use. These platforms are as follows:
1. Wordpress – runs my blog, my portfolio and my flash lab experiments
2. Flickr – my photography
3. Vimeo – my movies
4. Google Reader – what I read
Solution #1
Pipes allowed me to marry each disparate RSS feed into one long feed. This essentially allows me to use each platform as a content management system. I had to write a few ASP scripts to enable wordpress specific posts to be translated into an RSS feed before sending it off to Pipes to be assimilated.
Solution #2
I created a simple flash application that hit the Pipes feed and displayed content in an animation that resembled a stream of data or consciousness. Within flash I had to do some custom String manipulation to identify where the various pieces of content may be originating. Once these were classified it was as simple as building out the classes that would run the content manipulation. It was also nice to get to play around with the new 3D api built into Flash 10.
All and all I’m very pleased with the site. It will allow me to continue to use the publishing platforms I like, the platforms that are best at housing content, and still display the content in one central stream.
Well, anyway, Lis and I were on Portland news Channel 8 last night. Lisa is making her acting debut in some of the commercials for the city of Portland this year, and I was interviewed for an interactive installation I’m developing and installing @ 6th and Alder.
The piece is about North’s work for client The Downtown Marketing Initiative and highlights this years campaign to drag the economically scared shitless consumer out of the suburbs and into the unique beauty that only downtown Portland can offer. I’d say we’ve done a bang up job of it.
Interface and motion design idea for future interactive installation using motion detection.
Words are chosen at random from a random pool of Flickr tags. The words are then broken down into individual characters. These characters are then animated based on the location of user interaction.
Picture this large. Now take that image and double it’s size. Picture it large enough to where you’d have to jump to reach different ‘doors’. That’s how I envision it.
It’s work like this that makes my paltry experiments in motion detection interfaces look downright moot. Neuroscientists have gotten as far as to embed a chip inside a monkey’s brain, and figured out what brain activity signals that the monkey is trying to move its arm in what direction. This video shows a man typing out thoughts with his mind. With his freaking mind! I agree with the commentator that this is evolution. Convergence is evolution. Not Darwinian evolution, but evolution nonetheless.
Coming from New England, I never thought I’d be so into foliage. I think it’s because living in Boston proper we never got to see the colors that the burbs or Vermont had to offer unless you actually left the city to traverse there, and who wants to do that? Well, I’m shamelessly admitting that I am. Into the leafs. I dig fall foliage. There, I said it. I’m a foliphile. Pdx has some redonculous skill when it comes pigment loss. It’s like the entire city is putting on an art show for you.
Anyway, I also sincerely dig staying home with my wife and poochy poochino working in this new yard we have.
Yahoo pipes – redonculously sexy visual coding engine that shall enable me to save countless hours while also providing a slick vehicle for hackery extraordinaire. Thanks Amber!
Control the music in my entire office and each of its separate zones from my iphone? Shit, yea.
I need a moleskin sketch book. All the cool kids have them.
In a classic case of cosmic irony, I just stole some chocolate out of bennies desk while he’s getting his face drilled.
Last week I had a showing at Equilibrium, the Human Mashup. The show’s goal was to ask “How can art and technology and the synergy of the two address humanity’s next evolutionary step?”. Being a staunch singularitarian this was right up, or is it down, my proverbial alley. I built an application that allows a user to take a self portrait photograph and then draw themselves on a wall simply by using and moving their hand. The premise was to use the human as the sole interface to draw themselves, exploring the convergence of man and technology. A one day only installation, I didn’t have to high of hopes for it’s exposure. On the flip side, this being my first showing ever I was like a greedy 8 year old on Christmas morning, and extremely anxious to see how people would interact and respond to the installation. The methodology of controlling an interface without the normal peripherals such as a mouse, keyboard, touch screen, kiosk, or otherwise was foreign to all that attended. What transpired blew me away. The attendance, response and exposure far exceeded my hopes. I barely had to explain at all to users how to run the application. People just stepped right up to the installation and began to interact with it. They were actually learning on their own while performing the drawing. People were actually converging with the technology. Furthermore, those that were done performing their drawing became evangelists, telling those who followed them their idea of how best to use the application. At that moment it became cemented in my mind that I had succeeded in my experiment. People had invested themselves in the piece to the point of bringing out their own inner artist. Several times I stepped in to ‘coach’ people on how to get the most out of the motion detection while drawing their portrait. The response I got was unexpected. People took personal offense that I was pushing my artistic ideas on their own drawing. Again, success. I was also sent to the floor several times by attendees who said they had come to the event specifically to see my work which they had been following online. There were even several people who mentioned that they had hooked my work up to projectors at parties they were holding. Wha?! Seriously, amazed.
I’d like to thank several people for the night. Steve Benoit for all his help with testing the application, videography and film editing of the event. The result is the shweet movie posted above. Rachel Kjack and Adrienne Fritze from SAO and Working Artists Online respectively for their organization and inviting me to submit my work. All that attended, I met some inspirational folk. And finally, my wife Lisa for her unending support and diggin’ me even when I have late night dreaded ‘code eyes’.
This Friday -[Oct. 17th]- I will be part of SAO and the Portland Working Artists Network in presenting at Equilibrium, the Human Mashup, using the synergy of art and technology to revolutionize society. I am currently designing and developing an interactive art installation. A brief description of the project is below. I’m super excited to see what other installations are on display. If you’re in the Pdx area and interested in what Equilibrium has to offer please stop by and paint yourself on the wall.
Brief Description
In the spirit of Multiplicity and Convergence an interactive installation will be developed that allows viewers to draw a self portrait on a wall using a motion sensing application, a camera and projector. The application will allow a user to take a self portrait photograph. They will then have the opportunity to draw themselves on a wall simply by using and moving their hand as a paintbrush. The idea is to use the human as an interface to draw themselves. The drawing will be performed using code that analyzes and compares the location of the viewers hand to the location of pixels in their photograph. As the viewer waves their hand a paintbrush will paint their snapshot onto the wall. The resulting image will then be automatically uploaded to a photo gallery on Flickr. A different version that uses music as the paintbrush and an online image as the self portrait can be viewed here.
Look around you, look in the mirror… we’re all sheep [or goats in this instance] following the fed, following special interest, following our two party corrupt system, following each candidates fear campaign, following laws solely instituted for monetary gain. And, we’re about to elect more of the same under the guise of change.
As usual, our two party system has produced candidates that differ only semantically, and now they’re both backing the administration’s fleecing plan. They want us to pay for their financial investment mistakes and are using the same old fear tactics to sell it.
For once it’s seems as though we stepped up and said no, and the House may have actually listened. Millions of emails were sent and the initial bailout fleecing was squashed.
Stay strong, keep emailing your masters, call them… call them out.
End fear mongering. End the Fed. End the corruption. End the two party system.
I wasn’t alive in 1955, but Portland today is how I envision it must have been. Well, 1955 with an uber progressive green living attitude, lots of pot, people riding around on 10ft high bikes, mopeds, scooters and every car from a land yacht to a space mobile. When I say 1955 I refer to the neighborhood community attitude. Last night the two guys we’re buying our new house from threw us a party to meet all the neighbors on the street. Read that sentence again. Surprising, right? Well now recall that we live in a major city, not Nebraska. Now it’s jaw drop shocking! Especially coming from Boston, where the greeting you’d typically get from your new neighbors is a ‘hi, don’t fu#cking park in my street spot’.
These guys and the neighbors are unreal! They all made dishes, had wine and enjoyed the night talking about the hood.
Thanks Jack and Ric, it’s not everyday you find a house FSBO that results in the sellers throwing a welcome to the hood party.
I’m still unsure where or when I live. All I know is I like it.
This photo is hilarious. I tried to pose in my best leave it to beaver stance.
drawn entirely with code, with an assist from radiohead.
Think of code as the ‘painter’. The ‘painter’ analyzes the the color of each pixel in the image you pass it. Other code analyzes Mp3 data and controls the ‘painter’. Thus, the ‘painting’ is performed using music as the artist.
Remember when I used to take photographs and post them on flickr?
Well, I guess I’ve been distracted making things, rather than just recording them.
This is one of those things. A sound visualization engine built in Actionscript. It works by analyzing the raw data of an mp3 file, taking a snapshot of its sound wave every 31 milliseconds and placing it into a ByteArray. The ByteArray is fixed to 512 floating-point values, where the first 256 values represent the left channel, and the second 256 values represent the right channel of audio. I then loop through all 512 channels and assign animations based on each (again every 31 milliseconds). The animation effects are assigned randomly applying blurring, scaling, motion and sizing based on the sound wave values. For added effect I added a photo of cannon beach I took and masked it with the sound wave. After all the song is about a beach.
You have to admire a job that allows you to make a bumble-bee/owl (a bumblowl?) fly around a mural merely by waving your finger… all while drinking beer.
This is an elaboration on my actionscript webcam motion detection experiments, built as an installation for the Inverge party hosted by North. The idea was to take motion detection and combine it with art in the form of digital drawing and 2d space in the form of a wall mural. The concept is to allow human interaction to affect physical space, freeing oneself from all traditional user interface. The application works by constantly monitoring a webcam, taking snapshots of each frame every millisecond. The pixels in the current frame are compared to pixels in the previous. The difference in brightness within each section determines whether or not motion had occurred in this area of the screen. If motion is detected the coordinates of a rectangular grid around said motion is recorded and the owl is ordered to go to that point. The line drawings begin and follow the owl recording a ‘flight path’. A mask is drawn to prevent the owl and its drawing trail from going in front of some of the trees giving the mural a sense of dimension.
Thanks to the great Eric Natzke for the drawing inspiration and open source, and NORTH for being forward thinking enough to encourage digital experimentation.
I’m sitting on Jones st. having morning coffee. It’s the final day of the conference and I’m sorry to say it’s been a fairly sizable disappointment. Most of the speeches, while well spoken and inspirational, have lacked substance. There’s been no meat and potatoes. Nobody has dove in to their process. It’s been way too much preaching about ‘passion’ and cliche terms like ‘do what you like and money will follow’. While that’s certainly true, it’s not something we don’t know, nor something we need repeated six times a day here to ‘get’. We came to be enlightened, something I’m definitely not feeling here. Passion is a great mantra for a conference but you’re preaching to the choir. Most people attending have taught themselves a very complex tool and a completely new language all without schooling. I’d say we’ve got the passion thing down, yea? Now show me some technique, source, demos, MEAT!
Not much time to write more right now, but one final word about the conference as a whole…
This is one of the foremost technologically advanced gathering of nerds any conference can boast, right? Then why the motherhell don’t we have stable wifi here? Beyond embarasssing, Adobe. Why isn’t there one interactive installation? Why is there no Flash on display anywhere? And why… oh why… have I seen 23 card tricks? I mean, it’s slight of hand folks, the guy is essentially decent at hiding things behind his knuckles. Bah.
I’m off to Flash Forward this week. It should be a great party in a cool city with some uber nerds. Just about all I need, besides my wife and pooch. Looking forward to seeing the Masonic Temple it’s being held in, and the new format chosen by Adobe. This will officially be my fourth Flash Forward, and I’m relieved that I haven’t been chosen to speak this year. Last year was a tad awkward to be told by your boss that you’re going to be a speaker. Um yea thanks, I thought that would be something I’d chose to do not unknowingly penned in for. Pretty standard operating procedure at Arnold.
I’m also fired up that Steve and I will be driving the 10 hours or so down to San Fran from Portland, stopping half way to camp in Redwoods National Park.
When there’s nothing inside to make you go out.
We roll in the sheets, salaciously shout.
Times obsolete when love is around.
We couldn’t care less about the level of sound.
The neighbors shout back annoyed with our life.
The old man downstairs berating his wife.
It’s Saturday morn our clothes on the floor.
The air rushes in explaining some more.
About a world we’ve forgotten today.
We’re dying tomorrow but that’s so far away.
Lets just lay here exhaling the breeze.
Listen to wind that’s teasing the trees.
Cuz there’s nothing outside that’s better than in.
Let’s stay in our bed enjoying our sins.
Dusk park.
Alone with lights.
Candy pervades these summertime nights.
Peopleless park.
Their thrills lay behind.
Grasping at straws that lay on the ground.
Sitting alone silhouetting in time.
Dogs barking from standing in line.
The park is all closed it’s time to go home.
Your soul lags behind it stays here to roam.
Dusk park.
Where children’s eyes gaze.
Freaks in the corner dismembering days.
Carni folks danced and read you your rights.
Coddled in blankets prohibiting flight.
Parents just left you.
You ran from their car.
The gates opened up revealing the tar.
You spent all your quarters at Eddies arcade.
And trashed the prize skeet ball had paid.
There’s nothing left here but creeping grey shadows.
Writhing around you screaming you tattled.
On some little boy who cut through the turnstile.
His hands cotton candied he winked with denial.
Dusk park.
Where everyone wins.
Cashing on in our meaningless sins.
Turning hesitation to wild abandon.
Sipping on liquor we selected at random.
Dusk park.
We all hate to leave you.
Take me for good.
And use us as we do.
sunday sun in lovers sway
light to shine thoughts to lay
hair adrift in natures play
a telekinetically perfect day
simple brown in complex blue
lovers light extended hue
we’ll walk for hours
chasing light
searching for the endless night
You keep thinking the world is your stage.
Gazing upon it, counting your age.
Making assumptions of time and its wage.
Filling in gaps with mathematical rage.
Seeing at once your synapses smoke.
Ending the reign of fanatical hope.
Sliding with quick the miracle slope.
Metaphorically question the end of your rope.
Counting in time syncopationless loss.
Feeding the frenzy expensiveless cost.
Jumping through hoops that square off your ends.
Rising like hope crushed by the bends.
You keep thinking the world is your stage.
Curtains will close, you’re back in your cage.
In lushLand where bastards feed
Weeds grow on beds of greed
Shadows creep from sunlight’s bleed
Sucking silt through straws of reed
Defiant voice amidst the shrug
Little dame the shutterbug
Snapping time to it’s knees
A love affair with sowing seeds
She shifts along the bending trail
Crickets laud and stand to hail
Ignoring all she spreads her wings
Takes to flight lushLand sings
A single spark of calming rage
Content to sit and watch her age
Sinking back into the deep
It’s all time code, my little sheep
start: ‘hey babe, let’s go camping. somewhere. not on a campground. in Oregon.’
And so we did. After asking several people on flickr, and several real people [it's well known flickr people are automated fabrications of your imagination], we still had no clue where to head. So I did the obvious. I opened Google maps, selected terrain, blindfolded myself, spun my chair 10 times and pointed. What I ended up with was the Oregon coast. Perfect. In Oregon, much like a mustache to an upper lip, lush forests grow right down to beaches. Amazing beaches. So, we hit Freddy Meyers, corralled the dogs and packed up the car. Way too much. Neither of us had been back country camping before, and our overabundance of gear, beer and food was testament to this. We had less stuff driving cross country. We hit the sunset highway and headed West through some gorgeous wilderness towards our final destination, Cape Meares. Mind you, this was at 9pm. Luckily, the Oregon summer holds the sun high till 10 and twilight seems to linger some time after. So, we had at least 1hr to find a trail, unpack the car, scamp through woods, haul our gear, get the pups, and setup shop that would lay claim to the next 3 nights. After a manic’d panic’d dimly lit search we decided upon a trail through a wildlife refuge. Why a wildlife refuge? It was dark, and time to do this. Tonto.
Besides, what wildlife with human predation lives on a beach?
Black bears. 2 bear cubs to be exact. That’s who. And their mom. Their angry, overprotective, I’ll maim you just for being within one mile of my cubs mother, whom we met at 9am the next morning. Thankfully we had already had our morning coffee, steeped to perfection over flame. So yea, the dogs charged the two bear cubs who shimmed up a 70 ft tree with all the grace of a black bear cub scaling a giant tree. It was impressive to say the least. I had my camera with me, and even pointed it to my eye. However, I couldn’t push the shutter. Unlike my Yosemite bear cub experience, where there were many people around, I didn’t take a photo. Instead, instinct kicked in and I knew we were in trouble. The dogs charging the cubs, and the fact the we couldn’t see the mother, but knew she was close told us we should turn around, and jet. And so we did. The dogs thankfully heeded my calls and followed us as we ran back up the trail. manic’d panic’d I handed Lis my camera and wielded my Nepalese knife, ready to do battle. This was 100 yards from our chosen site. Needless to say, it was time to pack up our stuff and find another home, away from the bear family. And so we did. With a quickness. This would be the 4th trip up/down the quarter mile trail with our gear, as it took two trips each way to gather it all. Our cooler was heavy. Swollen with ice.
This story is in no way meant to take away from the the night spent in a sweet location, enjoying a nice campfire in a woods overlooking the ocean. The dogs running round the site. It sprinkled but the awe inspiring tree canopy kept us dry. We could even hear the waves from our tent.
Which led us to our next destination. We thought we’d up the wave anti by camping right on the beach. And so we did.
We setup shop on Netarts Beach, on a tip we got from a waitress in a coffee shop in a tiny coastal town. The beach was at the end of a dead end road called Happy Camp. This would surely bode well for us, no?
No. It actually didn’t… Bode well… At all. What the waitress neglected to tell us was that the beach assumed the role of the ocean bottom during high tide. As in, when high tide comes, you should be off this beach. So, after an amazing day, a giant campfire, scenery to die for [punny] we settled into our tent. The waves were roaring. Seriously loud. Their gusto to be overtaken only by the constant barrage of fireworks being shot off the dune cliffs above us. This was all well and good for the first half hour, but 4 hours of firebombs bursting 10 feet over your tent tends to make one feel as though they are in The Ardennes circa 1945. The dogs were scared. Understatement. They were pissing their pants. I mean our tent. We don’t make them wear pants. Lis would though, if she could. Thankfully the shelling was a blessing in disguise as it kept us awake. Until 2am. Which came in handy when I looked out the tent door and shined my mag light. The water was near. Near like 4 feet. Correction, the Singularity is near, the icy cold ocean was on us. It was time to go. Again. This time with a severe quickness. Our tent was as far back as a tent can go. We were up against a cliff face. The only way out was left. So, at 2am in the pitch dark we packed. We packed like rats. Did I mention it was raining out? We packed as much as we could for one trip off the beach. We sadly had to leave some stuff behind, like the 200lb cooler full of melted ice. And my mini grill. Our apologies to environmentalites. We had to go. Fast. The walk back down the beach was no walk on the beach. The sand was gone. Underwater. We had to skirt the cliff face on rocks. With gear hanging off of us like rented mules. Raining. 2 dogs with the look of fear in their eyes. Sidenote: I always though that if stranded somewhere, desperate, I’d want one thing with me. My dog. I change my mind. They’re like kids in this situation. Baggage. At this point its time to interject with a word about my wife. She’s strong. Stronger than I’ve thought. She did this. Without bitching once. Without crying. Without concern for herself. She carried at least 60lbs of gear on her back across a quarter mile stretch of soaking wet beach rocks with the ocean surf taunting 4 feet from her feet. Pinned against a cliff face! Now thats a wife. It’s who I want with me.
We made it. Obviously. The two hour ride back to Portland at 3am was sublimely painful.
From my pics you can see the beauty we saw. It was an amazing 4th. A lot happened in 24 hours. It’s good to get this down on ‘paper’. It was breathtaking. Ridiculous. Gorgeous. Dangerous.
First, you make a wheel of stache. Each contestant puts $20 entry fee into the pot. Each additional spin is $10. At the end of 6 weeks the man man enough to grow his beard/stache as close as possible to their spin wins the bank.
Extra points for those who completely envelope their characters persona.
Well… where to start… hmmm… oh yea, I HATE F’ING AIRLINES AND THE PORTS THAT HARBOR THEM!!!
Ok, breathing.
Thus far, 4 trips to Sacramento airport, already one lost piece of luggage, and still have yet to leave.
And now this little cute girl is screaming her head off saying unspeakable things about the other little girl she was just playing with [DIRECT QUOTE: "I REALLY truly hate her daddy!! She hit me, its the truth! I saw, and felt and heard it!"] There’s approximately one hundred googleplex children, give or take 5, at our gate. We’ve been in the airport for 6 hours, after driving 2 hours last night to miss this flight. We paid the $200 change fee, which included a nice bump up to first class, and now we wait.
A word to the airlines: Get some freaking funding. Revamp the jet engine. Get rid of the planes, and technology from 1971. And for petes sake, when you give out simpathy food vouchers… do it in an airport that actually has a mofo restaurant!
Preface: I consider myself a pacifist. Those that know me would say the same.
I really do. Right up until the point that someone violates my wife’s respect, and her fine bottom. What follows is a story that is sure to make this road trip memorable beyond the bare fact that it is a cross country drive full of scenic wonders.
On Sunday morning we woke up in a Battle Creek Michigan Econo Lodge and loaded up the car. I punched “coffee” into the gps and it came up with a coffee house .4 miles away from the motel. We made our way over and entered the nice lounge, leaving the cats and our possessions in the car. Inside the coffee house were several sets of families who had brought in their own mugs to enjoy a Sunday morning cup of joe. There was also a man in his 40’s sitting on one of the couches. As we walked by him he gave a look. It was a look that Lisa and I would both recall later as troubling. We walked up to the counter to order our cups of coffee. The man proceeded to follow. He brushed by us and Lisa commented that she though the man grabbed her ass, but she couldnt be sure. I took mental note of this and waited for him to come out of the bathroom he walked in to. He reappeared no longer then 5 seconds after walking in and came back towards us. This time he blatantly reached down and grabbed her again. Right in front of me. Lisa pushed him back and then I did the same. I started getting in his face and yelling pretty loudly about the fact that he had just grabbed my wife’s ass, not once, but twice. The entire coffee house was now on notice that things might turn bad. After a few shoves were exchanged the dude asked me to step outside. I obliged and we were going to head out when Lisa stopped me saying it was a waste of my time. We went back to the counter to pay for the cups. Meanwhile the guy sat back down on his couch. I did all I could to not run over to him and we calmly paid the bill, tipping the barista handsomely. She responded with a thank you and that the cops were on their way to deal with the man. I handed Lisa both coffee’s and made her walk in front of me towards the exit. In truth though, I had no intention of exiting without getting into it with the guy. Again, I’m not one to scuffle but the guy violated Lisa’s respect, my patience and my pride as a husband. I turned to him and spoke loud enough for the coffee house to hear “what are you 50… and grabbing little girls asses?” He got right back up off the couch and got in my face. Lisa jumped in between us trying to stop further escalation. This is where I lose it…
The guy picked Lisa up, tossed her to the side, and lunged for my head. Before I knew it Lisa threw our cups of steaming coffee at him… and I had his shirt and neck in my hands. I ran him into a table, a wall, a lamp and then straight to the floor, breaking several of those items in the process. I remember knocking his head a couple of times into the floor and the wall while Lisa futilely tried to pull me off of him. I think I even said the cliche fighting phrase “yea, you stay down!”. One of the family men eventually pulled me off and we headed for the door before the guy could recover to cause more trouble. That and I wasn’t too keen on being arrested for assault half a country away from home.
As we pulled away from the coffee house we saw the police driving, lights on, right by us. We spent the next 4 hours heading for the Michigan state border.
I feel bad about the families that had to witness this, and the coffee house owners stuff that I destroyed… but truth be told, I’d do the same thing over and over again given the chance.
The pervert had it coming.
Moral: Don’t grab my girls bottom. ever. And, especially before I’ve had my morning coffee.
TANK: - 110gal all glass tank with dual built in overflows. - 72″ Lunar day night cycle compact fluorescent fixture with all actinic and daylight bulbs included and operational. Lunar bulbs included to spur fish spawning and coral growth. - 40 gallon Pro Clear Sump with all hosing and pads - 580gph 2200 quietone water pump - 150 lbs of premium cured fiji live rock. - dual timers to control day night cycle - magnetic glass cleaner/scraper
FISH: - pair of mating clownfish - sea urchin - bristle star - many emerald crabs - many many inverts (sally lightfoot, coral baned shrimp etc) - 2 damsels
All of the above were purchased one year ago. So, everything is in mint condition.
This is a serious setup for a serious reefkeeper. So, serious inquiries only. I’m reluctantly selling this entire setup because I’m moving across country.
Come by and see it anytime. I’m located in Boston. Any questions, just ask.
200 sq ft private deck! Biggest deck in the building (deck furniture and planters included)
1 heated garage parking space included
Washer/dryer in unit
Modern kitchen w/plenty of cabinetry, black enameled gas stove, microwave, refrigerator, dishwasher + disposal
Exposed brick
Private sleeping area
Dimmer controlled, halogen track-lighting system
2 giant bedroom closets
Big ass windows
Wood beams throughout
Gas forced hot air heating and central air conditioning
Kittens welcome
Fully soundproofed
Tons of storage space
Elevator in building
Convenience store in building
Steps to South Station and red line.
Hardwood Flooring throughout
11 foot-high ceilings and south-western exposure add to this loft’s sense of space + light
Ceiling fans
Garbage removal in building
The place rocks and we’re sorry to see it go. Neighborhood and people are cool. The building, and our unit, are soundproofed enough for me to play my drums at any hour without complaint. Cats are ok, but no pups. And I promise we’ll be the coolest absentee landlords you could ask for.
Looking to rent Dec 1st. Please email to come by and see it anytime.
Once and a while an opportunity comes along, naw scratch that… Opportunities come along daily if you know where to look. A couple of weeks ago one such opportunity, more grandiose than the norm, happened to come a knockin’. I was flown out to Oregon and offered a job as the Director of Digital Media for a small agency called North. After several weeks of weighing options, calculating digits, real estate investigation, demographicization, craigslist rapeage, family consultation, feline conversation, agonizing contemplation, and overall sleeplessness we came to a decision…
time for a change.
The move will allow Lisa to quit her job to do full time freelance child photography, me to continue to further engage in online construction, us to avoid a new england winter, and most of all to have another excellent adventure.
So here we are. Lisa with the perfect announcement garb. And me doing the only logical thing I could think of… Belly Beaver illustration.
We’ll be renting our pad, selling my bike, packing up the rig, the cats, and the Boston attitude to head west the end of November.
I realize that I’ve all but abandoned this extensible form of electronic communication for various reasons that I have yet to fully ponder. That said, I’m back to post a few fleeting glimpses into what has shaped up the busiest couple of months in my life.
I acquired my first, non family offered, photography gig.
I sold my first photograph to someone in Davenport, IA.
I visited Portland, Oregon for the first time.
I quit my job.
and, ran into some old friends.
Once I get a breather I’ll go back to writing beautifully prosed nonsense into this wysiwyg window. Until then, stay moist.
Larceny: “carrying away of the personal goods of another from his or her possession with intent to convert them to the taker’s own use”
He paid $4000 for that gear, I heard him say it. A sizeable investment in thievery, say I.
To me, this man is a laughable nip barely above a pickpocket. Those with a pro “finders keepers” agenda will make the argument that he should keep what he finds. I say to them, he is actively seeking out other peoples goods to retain for profit.
The equivalent of this would be going into a lost and found and matter of factly taking all of it, while onlookers say nothing. In fact, he should look into that… it wouldn’t cost him 4 grand. But wait, society would take issue with that. Why do we allow this man roam free on the beaches of the world? Why, and how, is it justified and considered a “hobby”?
Knitting is a hobby, looting beaches is a crime. Plus, people will think you’re weird.
The countdown to our 2 week motorcycle through Sicily, Catamaran through the Greek Isles, eat our way through Europe trip is on. Here’s our itinerary.
July 22 – Fly out of Logan July 23 – Land in Sicily stay in Taormina July 24 – Explore Taormina July 25 – Rent Motorcycle and ride the Sicilian coast to take the hydrofoil to the Aeolian Islands. Stay in villa overnight. Enjoy natural hot springs, and thermal vents and Volcanoes in crystal blue sea. July 26 – Hydrofoil back to Sicily. Ride bike through the mountains around Mt. Etna. Explore volcano and small villages. Board Catamaran in Taormina. July 27 – Take Catamaran from Taormina to Siricusa, Sicily. July 28 – Crotone, Italy July 29 – Corfu, Greece July 30 – Corfu to Ithaca July 31 – Ithaca, Greece Aug 1 – Olympia, Greece Aug 2 – Delphi, Greece Aug 3 -Delos and Mykonos Aug 4 – Athens Aug 5 – disembark and fly home from Athens
Last year, while eating copious amounts of freshly grilled carcass in the back yard of my good friend Colin’s apartment, something caught my peripheral vision by the proverbial nutsack. It was dusk out so I had to squint, get closer, and squint some more still. My first impressions were confirmed when my beer goggled focus cleared to reveal nothing less then a Jesus face on the side of a stone wall !!
A year later I returned to get this shot.
Now, naysayers may say nay, and myself being a proud atheist shouts nay fairly often, but I’d swear that resembles the iconic Son of God.
I’m hoping this catches on, ala “virign mary face embedded in toasted cheese sandwich”.
The Kresge domed auditorium at the massachusetts institute of technology. Taken today while attending http://h20.media.mit.edu/, a truly awe inspiring symposium.
Before you go and raft a level five rapids during ‘high water release’ you may want to watch this video of me fracturing my L7 vertebrae.
I got flipped out of the raft, sucked under water by the rapids, and resurfaced just as the raft (it takes 8 people to lift these rafts) came crashing down on my dome.
After writing Flickr a long request to use their API for a commercial stock photography venture…
Here’s a snippet:
"We plan to build an application that allows the many users of Flickr to market and sell their photography to potential consumers and companies for both commercial, and personal use. Using Flash and Apollo we plan to make the application both web, and desktop based, using Flickr as the back end platform for photo storage, and user data manipulation. Potential for Mobile search, with ability to sync saved items back to desktop application. The application would serve as a vast searchable stock photography website, while providing Flickr members an eCommerce marketplace to sell their photography, all controlled by the already familiar Flickr user interface platform."
I received this very detailed auto-responded denial:
"Unfortunately, we can’t support this type of integration at this time.
Regards, Maya, Flickr team"
Thanks Maya, your vagueness is most appreciated.
So, this begs the obvious question of ‘why not’? I assume its either Flickr has this currently in development, or there are many other pitfalls of an application of this type that Flickr does not want to be a part of. (copyright, photo fraud ect).
Either way I think it could have been very successful, and may still be, once Flickr comes out with this on their own
Wouldn’t you like to use Flickr to sell your photos?
Message : Hello, My name is Corey. Since I was a small boy I have wanted to play college baseball. With your help I think that is possible. Please contact me.
These are the emails that make me want to dive back into Athletes Advance.
Last night we went to see Zodiac, a loving drama of a troubled lad who liked to brutally slay humans in California’s Bay Area circa the late 1960’s/early 70’s.
The Zodiac lived in Lisa’s home town, so she was fired up to see some good local shots. However, while she is only 24 (25 in 5 days), she has the energy level of a senior citizen, with paralysis, and thus the late show was way passed Ms. Boomer’s bed time. That coupled with the fact that we had just eaten 3 gigantic Enchilada Mole Poblanos each, had her slumping like a corpse (situational pun) in her seat. The only thing keeping her awake… her extreme fear of scary movies.
The Review: Now, let me preface this review with a little fact: I hate the theaters with all the passion of the christ (movie pun). However, even at its lengthy 2 hours and 40 minute span I did not mind sitting still watching investigators track the elusive media whore killer throughout his vicious rampage. The kid from Donnie Darko (an even better movie), was excellent playing the socially inept cartoonist by day, obsessed serial killer hobby cop by night. That turtle looking doctor from ER was semi disappointing as the sidekick cop, however, his partner, Mark (I play a dorky unassuming heart throb in all my other gay films) Ruffalo delivered some shockingly impressive thesbianism. The show was, however, stolen by none other than Mr. Robert Downey Jr. playing a fringe of society, social alcoholic, drug using reporter, who becomes deeply and emotionally involved in tracking the killer. While this role is certainly not a stretch for the fringe of society, social alcoholic, drug using actor, he still gives you your moneys worth and then some. Kudos to you Jr., you’re one funny bastard.
Conclusion: It’s extremely difficult for a movie, let alone a suspenseful thriller, to be entertaining for 3 hours when everyone already knows its outcome going in. While dragging at points, Zodiac infuses a fine balance of humor and debilitating fear, delivering on its promise to show you the intricate details of a region gripped in the midst of an attention jailing horror story.
Rating: I give this movie two thumbs up for historical reference, humorous moroseness, and character development.
Side Note: Half way through the movie I inhaled… and to my utter amazement and surprise… my sense of smell returned!… With a fury. I went from smelling nothing, to overload. It was quite an amazing experience, and one that I never imagined would be so forceful. In one second I could smell an entire theaters worth of scents. After having no smell it was like having a super nose. It was fairly overwhelming. I apologize to those sitting around me that had to listen to me repeatedly inhale, with a loudness, for a solid hour.
Today started brilliantly, with me having perhaps the most interesting cab ride discussion imaginable, with a 70 year old cabbie. He told me stories of grandeur about how he’s been driving a cab since Boston was 60% cobble stone streets. I said “that must have scared the hell out of passengers when you’d all of a sudden hit Cobble Stone”. He replied appropriately, “We’re Boston cabbie’s, we’re in the business of scaring people”. We also discussed web technology(he was way more interested in this than any 70 year old cab driver should be). And, for the coup de gras, we discussed in detail The Singularity. Yes, I talked Singularity with a 70 year old cabbie. What a perfect morning… Well, it seemed perfect until…
Upon getting out of the cab and walking to da bucks I felt an odd “bulge” in the back pant leg of my jeans. I thought nothing of it at first as all attention was focused on the tasty beverage at hand. After a 15 minute battle in line for my coffee I headed off to work through the bustling Prudential mall. I felt as though I was walking a bit limpish, but chalked it up to “morning wobble”. I got half way there, felt the slight oddity again, turned to look down, and what did I see?……..
WHITE BOXER BRIEFS HANGING OUT OF MY RIGHT PANT LEG DRAGGING BEHIND ME ON THE MALL FLOOR!
Somehow, I had put my jeans on this morning with a balled up pair of my pantaloons residing in the right pant leg!? And they had slowly unfoiled their way down my leg to freedom.
I say to you now… Have you ever pulled a pair of your skives out of your pant leg in the middle of a mall during rush hour?
I’ve been working on a Flickr “widget” (that word is really beginning to rip into my cranium like a skill saw) that allows people to load their Flickr Photostream into a Flash module embedded on their website and/or blog of choice. The widget also allows viewing of one’s Flickr contact photos as well.
I’ve made it available for download by clicking “get your own widget” on the widget itself(below). There’s that word again! Widget! arggg. Ok, I hope you enjoy the um, thingydo, and if you feel its worth it, then perhaps you’ll donate to keep my servers, and this project running… and also I need some new sneakers.
Feel free to contact me about any suggestions you may have, and look forward to more features added periodically. Also, coming soon… a Blogger widget.
And, because size matters, here’s a larger version(505×600):
We’re down on the Cape this weekend for my mother’s birthday celebration.
We took a trip to the bay at Skaket beach. I was shocked to see the entire bay frozen. It looked a lot like what being on one of the poles must resemble.
Because my wife does not blog enough… A story from her.
Biting his head off does.
So, we had Kings Cake in the office today.
I didnt know what that meant, but I dont discriminate when it comes to cake (thats a lie, I hate German Chocolate) so I grabbed a slice.
I bite in.
First bite: Not so easy to bite. I try different chomping angels. Nothing seems to work.
I remove unchewable object from mouth.
“WHAT?!”
“WHO PUT A PLASTIC BABY IN THE CAKE?”
(i repeat above statement 5 times, loudly, while spinning, grasping baby in finger tips and holding up to the light. my quizzical look is priceless.)
No one was around to answer my (very valid) question.
I go to desk. Finish cake. Check email.
I find an email announcing there is Kings Cake in the kitchen and whoever finds the Baby Jesus will have good luck for one year.
Wow. Is that dumb or what?
Thanks for the good luck. I’m off to see the dentist. And prolly a psychiatrist: Lord knows that finding a plastic kid in your cake is detrimental enough–but to find out I just chomped the head of the Son of Man… well… thats just… um… uber detrimental.
But I work for The Truth designing and building all of their websites. Actually I work for Arnold Worldwide, advertising conglomerate, who has Truth as a client.
Our latest campaign is www.singingcowpoke.com, a website about a cowboy who smoked a lot, so much so he required a laryngectomy.
The fun part is the site allows you to type and send a message to a friend. A "Laryngectogram" if you will. When your friend plays the Laryngectogram it is read by our animated cowboy using text to speech technology. This was something new for me to implement so the site was a lot of fun to build, irregardless of the asinine hours put into it. (notice how tired I am in the pic)
On the more serious side, the site contains a video interview with the cowboy, animation of how a laryngectomy works, and memorials to the two real Marlboro men who eventually succumb to their own advertising product.
Please stop profiting (everyone should realize news is strictly motivated profit, especially internet news that is monetized) by covering this story any further as you did yesterday by your, and other mass media conglomerates, continued media fear campaign.
It is you who sent the city into a scared frenzy and you who is perpetuating a situation that was not a “hoax” in any way, but a simple marketing campaign misinterpreted as something more sinister by the BPD.
Please, move on and end your coverage of this weak excuse for news.
To The Boston legal system,
Do not charge anyone, especially not the artist, with any form of legal action, as this was a simple error that got blown out of proportion by the scared hypersensitive masses, the media, and the respondents.
To Mumbles Mooninitino,
You do not have to get all fired up and throw around legal accusations for us to respect you and know you are in charge. You should realize this was a case of your justice system reacting to a confused citizens overreaction. You should realize everything they did was necessary, and was also no fault of TBN or the artists involved. Mistakes happen. Go back to your city parking scam you run so well.
To The BPD,
BPD, we all understand you need to take these matters seriously, and you did. But please, do not claim this as a “hoax” in any way. Do not claim “mal intent” in any way. Also, please do not use anyone as a scapegoat. Just come out and say you did your job and covered a purported threat and go back to work. No law suits necessary.
To Boston (the city of),
These last two days have been an extremely sad day for you. I apologize on behalf of all humanity, and your current residents, on our finger pointing, scapegoated, simple minded, fear crazed behavior.
If ever there way a day when “the terrorists won” it was these last two.
It’s interactive design that effects environmental space. The idea is to have a website that allows people to generate content that is then projected on public spaces in real time.
ie: graffiti from the comfort of your living room.
I like to read this book like the majority of this country is experiencing its subject matter.
Behind dark, protective, ineffectual blinders.
Most of us are not affected by the war in the least. Nor do we effect the war by the same measure. We go about our way informed of the days strife by the media outlet of our choosing. Typically that media outlet tells us exactly what we want to read, as, seldom is it that people read viewpoints of the world that conflict with their own. The media as a whole has, in unison, made a shit show of reporting a shit show when it comes to producing any meaningful intelligent discourse on the war. The information fed to us is in the form of desensitized sound bites, and television images, that would have made Pavlov proud. Our view of the war is dark and shrouded, full of life’s distractions.
We write a blogs, post meaningless flickr photo protests, sometimes we even audibly scream at news headlines. But that’s all we do. We are not personally invested in the war. At least I’m not. I don’t know anyone over there, I’m not suffering financially, and am not in fear of being drafted.
I know we are over there fighting for oil under the guise of liberty. I know 25 people died yesterday over there. I know this war pisses me off to no end. I know the majority of the country agrees with this. But yet I see no protest. No discourse. No alternate plans.
I’m obviously not ready to quit my job to head to DC to protest. Hell, I haven’t even planned a weekend protest. I care, but, do I really care enough to do anything? Do I just like reading and ranting about the strategy, politics, and battles of this war? Am I selfish? Self important? Ineffectual? Callous? Lazy?
There is a major milestone in the Iraq War, seldom printed, that is about to be achieved.
It is one that started the war, and the main reason, besides stocking troops for an Iranian invasion and the ethnic cleansing of the Iraq Shiite population, for the upcoming “surge”. At any time within the next few days, the Iraqi Council of Ministers is expected to approve a new “hydrocarbon law” drawn up by the Bush administration. The new bill will “radically redraw the Iraqi oil industry and throw open the doors to the third-largest oil reserves in the world,” and “It would allow the first large-scale operation of foreign oil companies in the country since the industry was nationalized in 1972.” This is essentially check and mate for the administration as it will finally secure the precious prize that we started this battle to gain.
This will essentially open the doors for the altruistic folks at Exxon to walk in and boon their way on the mother load.
The thing that bothers me the most is you don’t hear a word about this from the Democrats. You do hear some rhetoric about “we need to be energy independent”, but you’ve heard Bush claim that same. They both mention the solution to this entire problem, but neither offers any sort of road to achieve it.
Fueled by the ongoing media fear campaign against Myspace, four ignoramus families filed a landmark “blame the vehicle for I’m an innocent parent of innocent kids” lawsuit against the social networking giant.
Perhaps these same parents should also sue the sidewalk for allowing their kids to walk unattended to the perpetrators houses. Or maybe, they’d take up case with the public transportation method used by these kids to go meet their molesters.
To me, this case wreaks of callous faulty parenting. These parents had no clue that their daughters are going to meet legal aged adults, and they’re upset about it. They needed someone to blame, and since Myspace is spanked daily by the media they are an easy target. Also, it probably does not hurt that they are privy to the bankroll amounts backing Myspace. A little green will make their daughters molestation sting so much less.
Perhaps if these parents had more awareness of what their kids were doing in their free time they might have prevented such a horrible event. Perhaps not. But if one thinks about social networking, or the internet in general, it is an area that parents can have more control/awareness of their kids activity. More so than older, traditional rape locales, such as the bowling alley, the skating rink, and the all to infamous “under the football bleacher stands rapery” (everyone knows this is a rape hotbed). The internet is a place they can monitor, right from their own home. It’s interesting that it has become a whipping boy of law suits by parents who claim to feel “helpless” from it.
What I’m trying to say is these lawsuits are bullshit, and I’m ashamed of our legal system for even entertaining them.
Myspace is merely the vehicle for two people to meet.
And I’m not just saying this because I met my wife there.
Several times now I’ve heard friends, and acquaintances alike, tell of horror stories that have their origins in one of the darkest reaches of this great mother earth: The Men’s Gym Locker Room.
It is a place of vile nudity, blatant repugnance, and dastard malodorousness*. It’s a room where you seldom feel safe, as if you are in the men’s shower in San Quentin, or Filenes Basement.
Several years back I had a friend who told me a nightmare story of getting approached by an older overweight fellow while changing. The older gentleman approached him, uncle buck naked, and asked if my friend would “shave his pubes”. My friend, being of normal mind and state, didn’t really hear the gentleperve’s statement upon first passage, so he replied “what?”. The man stated again that he’d like it if he shaved his pubes for him. Now, my friend is not a violent person, and, this is the clincher, couldn’t really fight this man spot on anyway. You see, the man was naked. This is the primary motivational factor in all of these cases. These men feel empowered to make such brazen statements due to their nude state. They know that no man will want to wrestle their naked freshly showered bodies down to a dirty floor for a beating, therefore they feel safe in spouting about unfathomable requests. Hence, all poor Paul could respond with was “ha, come on man” as if to laugh it off with the man in hopes he would depart.
Having worked in a gym for several years I too have seen my share of unthinkable locker room antics. The worst involving a man freely masturbating outside one of the men’s showers. You know these men’s rooms showers… Their curtains are never quite the width of the actual shower caboose, leaving a glimpse of man flesh for these perverts to unleash their fury upon. Again, are you going to bust out of the shower and tackle a man holding his cock in his hand? Well, are you? The sad answer is no, you most certainly are going to avoid any physical contact with cockboy.
Just this morning another friend of mine told me of a man who while naked let out a boisterous beef while he had him cornered in a small section of the locker room. This beef was not sbd, but was in fact audible, and therefore purposeful ripe with mal intent. Another case of “I’m naked, whatchyagonnado?”
In summation, the men’s locker room is nothing short of your worst youth nightmare realized. It’s full of fat old men who feel its their time to shine. They walk around the place like Nero in a Roman bath. They’ll release gas, beat off, and ask you for public pubic hair maintenance.
I’d love to sleep but 18 Nobel Prize laureates are keeping me awake with their gloomy predictions based on consequential global geopolitical watermarks.
I hate it when I turn over and look at the clock and it has barely moved…
I wish it would just turn midnight so I could finally rest…
The news, and their blatant use of fear to garnish viewers, is not new news, to use a pun. However, since internet news has picked up speed and overtaken traditional news outlets this trend has grown even worse, mainly because online “viewers” = $. Traffic is the internet’s equity. So putting out scary baseless stories that will attract eyes is the game.
Today’s Globe’s story Big risks seen in small cars, is a perfect example of this in action. While at first appearing like a propaganda piece by the ad wizards at “Big Oil”, the articles battle cry is that “Americans who buy the smallest cars on the market are twice as likely to have fatal accidents as drivers of midsize and larger vehicles”. This sounds scary! Doesn’t it!? I mean, it’s fairly obvious that we should all go trade in our compacts for SUV’s! Well, if you actually take your own common sense analysis and look at the data you’ll see that in the larger percentage of things you are just about as unlikely to be killed driving either.
“The nonprofit organization, which is funded by the automobile insurance industry, also found that in 2005, the fatality rate in mini cars between one and three years old was 144 deaths per every 1 million registered vehicles. That compared with a rate of 70 deaths per million for mid size cars and 67 per million for the largest ones.”
Doing the math: Mini Car fatality percentage = 0.00014% Mid Sized/Large Car fatality percentage = 0.00007%
So you see, this article is a big dose of good ole’ fashioned American capitalistic fear mongering.
These articles, and fear campaigns like this abound. Just take a good hardy look at the government’s best marketing tool.
However, after using it for countless years, the term MILF has me perplexed. It is a term that clearly pisses on the sanctity of one of life’s most profound entities: the mom. It is also an acronym that doubles as a direct object. A rare occurrence for sure. It is, and has been, however, tossed about in the annals of society to the extent of possible Webster’s inclusion (baseless).
There are, for sure, other acronyms that have leapfrogged into the mainstream, and have been later adopted as direct objects. See: YUPPIE, JAP, CHUD*. While these are similar in their derogatory meaning, they certainly do not contain profanity. How/why then has MILF become as socially acceptable as these others, and perhaps more widely used/accepted in conference rooms, doctors offices, and restaurants across the nation? If you were to say the entire phrase out loud you would surely offend, and if aimed at a stranger, and thus by relation, a strangers mother, it could warrant a gut shot. However, saying it in acronym form has given this vulgar Morrisonesque term license.
Some food for thought: the next time you ogle someone’s mom. Open your trap and spout out the entire phrase. I’d venture you’d be hard pressed to not hang your head in shame upon its conclusion.
I for one am going on record that this acronym is dtm.
*CHUD – Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller – as referenced by Colin Quigley during his 1994 big dig proposal protest.
