Today, on our walk to work, passing a woman crossing the street with a walking stick, my wife of 2 months, did a very brave thing…

She came out against the blind.

She boldly stated that “they just carry sticks”, and “most of the city’s blind are just faking it”.

While these may sound like wild, brazen, ignorant accusations against a niche minority, they could be worse. She could have trashed the deaf. An accusation that would have, surely, fallen on deaf ears. Or, she may have said this about the poor mute of Boston. A group that would be forced to internalize these hateful words without vocal retort.

Upon hearing such fanaticism spew from ones wife’s mouth, one might second guess why on earth one has married into such ignorance in the first place. Well, that’s exactly what I did. Then I recalled how blindingly hot she is, and I reconciled my feelings of disgust and started to investigate, in hopes of justifying her baseless slander.

I pondered… did she have any sort of ground to stand on in this heated issue? I then did what any half baked researcher would do. I turned to Google.

In searching Google for the term “blind people” I found an alarming statistic. They had approximately 55,100,000 documents relating to blindness! If blind people can’t see, then why was the undisputed king of search saying there are all these documents for them? With the vast majority of the web still lingering in the land of handicap non compliance, I had to wonder. Was my wife on to something? Do these people not only have sight, but also the power of literacy? I was stunned, and for a brief second my marriage seemed saved.

It was enough justification for me to take a stance. I would join her and her antiblind agenda. I too would allege the blind had sight. I too would aid her robot like march to eradicate the world of these 20/20 impostors!

I too would expose them.

So I implore you, join us oh faithful readers. Next time you see a person “acting” blind, tell them what you really think of their ruse. Better yet, write it down and hand it to them.

And, if you are one of the many insidious humans claiming myopia, take this as our declaration of war.

For there is no “eye” in Blind.