repent, originally uploaded by NymphoBrainiac.

Preface: I consider myself a pacifist. Those that know me would say the same.

I really do. Right up until the point that someone violates my wife’s respect, and her fine bottom. What follows is a story that is sure to make this road trip memorable beyond the bare fact that it is a cross country drive full of scenic wonders.

On Sunday morning we woke up in a Battle Creek Michigan Econo Lodge and loaded up the car. I punched “coffee” into the gps and it came up with a coffee house .4 miles away from the motel. We made our way over and entered the nice lounge, leaving the cats and our possessions in the car. Inside the coffee house were several sets of families who had brought in their own mugs to enjoy a Sunday morning cup of joe. There was also a man in his 40’s sitting on one of the couches. As we walked by him he gave a look. It was a look that Lisa and I would both recall later as troubling. We walked up to the counter to order our cups of coffee. The man proceeded to follow. He brushed by us and Lisa commented that she though the man grabbed her ass, but she couldnt be sure. I took mental note of this and waited for him to come out of the bathroom he walked in to. He reappeared no longer then 5 seconds after walking in and came back towards us. This time he blatantly reached down and grabbed her again. Right in front of me. Lisa pushed him back and then I did the same. I started getting in his face and yelling pretty loudly about the fact that he had just grabbed my wife’s ass, not once, but twice. The entire coffee house was now on notice that things might turn bad. After a few shoves were exchanged the dude asked me to step outside. I obliged and we were going to head out when Lisa stopped me saying it was a waste of my time. We went back to the counter to pay for the cups. Meanwhile the guy sat back down on his couch. I did all I could to not run over to him and we calmly paid the bill, tipping the barista handsomely. She responded with a thank you and that the cops were on their way to deal with the man. I handed Lisa both coffee’s and made her walk in front of me towards the exit. In truth though, I had no intention of exiting without getting into it with the guy. Again, I’m not one to scuffle but the guy violated Lisa’s respect, my patience and my pride as a husband. I turned to him and spoke loud enough for the coffee house to hear “what are you 50… and grabbing little girls asses?” He got right back up off the couch and got in my face. Lisa jumped in between us trying to stop further escalation. This is where I lose it…

The guy picked Lisa up, tossed her to the side, and lunged for my head. Before I knew it Lisa threw our cups of steaming coffee at him… and I had his shirt and neck in my hands. I ran him into a table, a wall, a lamp and then straight to the floor, breaking several of those items in the process. I remember knocking his head a couple of times into the floor and the wall while Lisa futilely tried to pull me off of him. I think I even said the cliche fighting phrase “yea, you stay down!”. One of the family men eventually pulled me off and we headed for the door before the guy could recover to cause more trouble. That and I wasn’t too keen on being arrested for assault half a country away from home.

As we pulled away from the coffee house we saw the police driving, lights on, right by us. We spent the next 4 hours heading for the Michigan state border.

I feel bad about the families that had to witness this, and the coffee house owners stuff that I destroyed… but truth be told, I’d do the same thing over and over again given the chance.

The pervert had it coming.

Moral: Don’t grab my girls bottom. ever. And, especially before I’ve had my morning coffee.